For the past few years, I’ve been forgetting a lot of things.  You’re free to see this as just a coincidence, but my problems started when I was forced to get the COVID vaccine.  I did my own research and  found plenty of websites describing studies that show the RNA in that vaccine junk  is destroying neurons. Of course, all the doctors I’ve consulted  say the opposite; that’s not surprising when you consider that they’re all paid by Big Pharma to spread their brainwashing designed to make us swallow all their pills.  I have a lot to say on this subject, but I’ll hold back today because that’s not the point of my testimony.

The fact remains that ever since I’ve been wearing Dr. Neul’s funnel helmet, my problems have disappeared.  If there’s something important I need to remember, I put my helmet on and go about my business. A few hours later, whether I’m looking in the mirror or people ask me why I’m wearing a funnel on my head, I immediately remember what it’s all about.

And I never forget to take my grapefruit seed extract tablets to fight germs.  A thousand times more effective than their damned vaccines. 

I love doing Sudoku puzzles, but for the past few weeks, I hadn’t been able to finish them because I always got stuck on the number 6.  Every single time, without fail, I’d end up with a triplet of 6s.

I finally talked to my pastor about it, Reverend Herman Crook, founder of the Order of the Shepherds of the Apocalypse.  He immediately realized that this was probably a problem related to the number of the beast, 666. Now that I think about it,  I’ve missed six services in a row since Sunday, June 6—something I should never have done.

In any case, following Reverend Crook’s recommendation, I contacted the manufacturers of Dr. Neul’s funnel helmet, especially since he had taken the trouble to give me a coupon entitling me to a 5% discount. He also asked me to make sure to specify that he was the one who referred me to their services.   After just three weeks of using this helmet, I was able to complete a Sudoku puzzle in less than an hour—something I’d never been able to do before.

I have no hesitation in recommending Dr. Pho Neul’s funnel helmet. However, you really have to follow the instructions to the letter.  For example, the other day, I accidentally did a Sudoku puzzle while wearing the helmet without the cap on the top.  Well, I couldn’t finish it, and this time I ended up with a triplet of 3s.    You might say that going from 6 to 3 was still a 50% reduction, but I’m not satisfied with half-measures like that.

And this is awesome—I just saw that a MAGA version of the funnel helmet is now available.  I’m going to order it right away and wear it to Reverend Crook’s next services. It’s sure to make all the other Shepherds with envy.   

A while back, I caught a “head cold” that gave me headaches for days.  I was starting to get worried, so I finally decided to go to the emergency room  at the hospital near my home. After waiting for twelve hours,  I still hadn’t been seen by a doctor, so I got discouraged and left.

Back home, I searched the web for solutions to my problem, and that’s how I came across Dr. Pho Neul’s website.  The site didn’t mention head colds or headaches, but I figured that if this headset was good for memory and judgment problems, there was no reason it wouldn’t work for headaches.  I immediately ordered a funnel helmet, which I received the next day.

The instructions recommend using it for two hours a day, but I didn’t take any chances and wore it constantly for the next two days.  It was a bit uncomfortable while sleeping, but by the end of that time, I did feel a little better.  However, since the symptoms hadn’t completely disappeared, I went back to the emergency room, still wearing my helmet.  As soon as the triage nurse saw me, she immediately  referred me to a neurologist. My case must have been very serious because they also had me see a psychiatrist.

Now, I no longer have headaches or head colds. 

All thanks to Dr. Neul’s funnel helmet.

Ever since I went through menopause, it’s been hell.  I get hot flashes, sometimes migraines, and now I’ve even become gluten-intolerant, and coffee keeps me awake.

My memory’s been playing tricks on me, too.  I’ve always washed my kitchen floor every day, and I realized I’d forgotten to do it for four days last month.  Same thing with some leftover sauerkraut—I ate it even though it had been in my fridge for over two days.

In desperation, I bought Dr. Neul’s funnel helmet, and since then, it’s been miraculous.  I wear my helmet almost all the time, and I don’t forget anything anymore. Plus, as soon as I feel a migraine coming on, I take off the little cap on the top, and pschuitt!—my headache is gone in two minutes.  Same goes for those pesky hot flashes—I can get rid of them the same way.  Finally, when I saw on the website that the funnel helmet contains no caffeine or gluten,  I decided to wear it every time I eat brioche and drink coffee, and it works every single time.

The helmet is also very easy to clean—just pop it in the dishwasher.  It’s also very handy when it rains. No more need for an umbrella, but don’t forget to put the cap back on.